Monday, September 7, 2009

One Little Worry

I've got a little bit of anxiety about having a second child. I'm thrilled and excited, but it's different from last time. I guess that's because I sort of know what I'm in for - the lack of sleep, for instance. Jimmy didn't sleep through the night until he was a year and a half old. That means, of course, that I didn't either. He also didn't nap for longer than 45 minutes at a time, so "sleeping when he slept" was difficult - by the time I could settle down enough to doze off, he'd be awake. It was rough. When I start thinking about that, I realize how good I've had it for the last year - sleeping through the night, nice long naps that make it possible for ME to nap if I want to...and I think about how all that's going to end soon.

And I start to breathe heavy.

But then I remember all those middle-of-the-night moments that were so sweet when he was tiny, the two of us dozing in the rocking chair, cuddling my baby close. It made the sleep deprivation worth it.

And then I go watch Jimmy sleep and realize that no matter what, the phases pass. Babies - even babies who seem to abhor sleep - eventually become little people who understand the concept of rest. And I take a deep breath and get over myself and focus on the wonder. (This is in my non-nauseous moments, of course. There's very little wonder in feeling like you're about to lose your lunch.)

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