Monday, November 15, 2010

It's Over

It's been three months since Miss V's terrifying eye surgery, and I took her this morning for her very last post-op check. As expected, Dr. N gave us the all-clear. Unexpectedly, it really hit me...it's OVER. I knew it was over, I knew this appointment was just to dot the last i and cross the last t, but as I walked out of that office and realized that I will most likely never darken that door again, I flashed back on the other times I've been there with my sweet girl; her first visit, when I was so nervous that I didn't sleep the night before, then got there an hour early so I could avoid traffic and sat in the parking garage, my stomach in knots...the visit when it was confirmed that, after weeks of the medication making my poor baby so sick, she was definitely headed for surgery...the MRI, which was just up the hill at Doernbecker, and how devastating and scary that day was...the surgery itself, each moment of which stands out in painful relief to me still...and the relief of that first post-op appointment, when just a week out, her black eye was almost gone and her stitches dissolved...she healed SO fast! It's been a journey, one I hope I never, ever repeat. Ever.

You know what though? We were so, so lucky. If my sister, Emma hadn't been here when I discovered the bump on V's eye, I might have passed it off as just a weird baby thing and waited longer to take her to the doctor, instead of bouncing it off her and hearing that she thought it was odd too. If I'd stayed with our old, inattentive doctor, instead of switching (at James's insistence - and was he ever right) to a pediatrician a year and a half ago, we might not have been referred so quickly to the pediatric ophthalmologist. If we had moved back to Kansas when we wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to take her to Dr. A who immediately diagnosed the hemangioma, AND we wouldn't have had access to the Casey Eye Institute and Dr. N. I know there are other doctors elsewhere, but I know that Dr. N was the one who was meant to perform this surgery on my daughter. I believe in God, and I believe that He has a plan. I have often questioned WHY my ideas of what I wanted and where I wanted to be were thwarted and why I had to deal with discomfort, but, now that we are on the other side of this awful, scary thing, I see that there was a direction and a reason. I believe that with all my heart.

So now, we can really move on. Our darling girl has full use of both her eyes with NO lingering damage and almost no scar. We got through it and learned we could. Little problems are put in perspective for me, and my attitude is adjusted. I know, I mean I really know how absolutely, amazingly fortunate I am to have this healthy, happy little family full of love and laughter, no matter where we are. It's a good day.

1 comment:

lindsipedia said...

Congratulations~ Tell little V that she was a trooper and try to relax a bit. ♥