Monday, October 27, 2014

Autumn Babies

 My children are very used to having me take their pictures, and they know there's a difference between candid, "we're documenting this event for the family in Kansas" pictures and "Mommy wants some beautiful pictures of the two of you, dressed in nice clothes and looking like you love each other" type shots. They've both gone through phases where they didn't like having their picture taken, and I've backed off, but now they actually enjoy going out together, finding fun places to pose, and spending the time together. It's one of our "things".

 I kind of love that.
 Even so, sometimes it takes a minute or two to warm them up and get them into the general spirit. No, darlin', I don't want pictures with your tongue out this time. I know that's your current favorite. And no, not with your hand over your face.

 Buddy, you'll have to open your eyes. Yes, in every picture.

 But then, we get to laughing, and it all starts to go right.

 There's still just the teensy-eensy-littlest hint of baby in the way Miss V walks sometimes, and I love it so very much. I don't think anyone would see the similarity, but me, but I can see the toddler that was in the big girl that is, and it's precious.

 Autumn is in full swing here, with wild thrashes in the weather and gorgeous color all around. There's a lot of work and scheduling and constant go-go-go and "Mom! Mom! Mom!". The Holidays will be here soon, with all that they entail. It can be a whirlwind, and I have to make myself STOP sometimes and remember that this is their childhood, and the moments count. Hugs in the morning, even though I just want some coffee and another hour of sleep. Notes in the lunchbox. Extra smiles. Extra "I love you"s. Sitting around, singing songs together in the evening sometimes. One more book before bed. It matters - it all matters. I'm tired. I feel like I'm always tired, if you want to know the truth, and I get irritated and lose my temper and need to step back take a deep breath, when the clearly communicated rules and boundaries are not respected. I'm a very imperfect, constantly learning parent, and I live in Real Town - how about you? But I'm tired for a reason - I'm helping to build the lives and hearts of two people I love so very, very much, and it matters.

So. Deep breaths. Take it all in. Every "Mom! Mom! Mom!", every thrash in the weather, every reminder of the babies they were, as they so rapidly turn into the big kids and eventual adults they will be.  This relationship is precious and requires attention, and this time belongs to them, as much as it belongs to me.

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